An Unexpected Journey
The moments that change a life seem to strike us when we’re paying attention to something else.
The path to Beautiful & True started with a telenovela.
Well, not exactly. I’ve been asking questions about joy, contentment, meaning, and purpose for…well, forever. Questing is part of my DNA, I think.
But solid answers to those questions were in short supply. Until…
For this to make sense, I have to take you back a couple of years. Over Thanksgiving in 2018, somewhat out of the blue, I decided that I wanted to live in Spain someday, which meant I should start re-learning Spanish. I immediately hopped on Duolingo to brush up on what I had learned in high school. And it was great, but slow, and I was impatient.
So, I started watching Spanish telenovelas, to try to speed things up, and because they’re so much fun. The plots are over-the-top. Someone is always getting murdered or put in jail. There are nuns with sinister agendas. It was perfect. And if I was learning too many words relating to being in love or getting revenge, so what?
In one of them, Acacias 38, there was a storyline about a young woman in 1913 Madrid with a troubled past (of course), who meets an older artist just arrived from Paris to settle some kind of inheritance (also, of course). Maite, the artist, discovers Camino has a talent for drawing, and—having nothing better to do—offers to give her painting lessons.
Suddenly, in the middle of this WWI-era soap opera, two women were having lengthy discussions on art and the nature of inspiration.
I’m going to paraphrase a bit, but one conversation went basically like this:
Camino: What inspires you to paint?
Maite: You’re the student, you tell me. What inspires you?
Camino: I’m not sure, yet.
Maite: All right, I’ll tell you what inspires me. Beauty and truth.
Camino: Yes! Me too!
Maite (laughing): Yes, of course. Everyone is inspired by beauty and truth. But what is beautiful and true for one person is not the same for someone else. When you know what is both beautiful and true for yourself, you’ll be able to put the rules to the side and paint however you want, love however you want, live however you want. You will have achieved the ultimate goal: libertad.
Liberation.
It sounds better in Spanish, but oof…that’s a big word.
That scene stuck with me. I found myself watching it over and over on YouTube. I would think about it all day. I couldn’t stop talking about it. Normally, that kind of obsession would have been obnoxious, but it ended up sparking amazing, powerful conversations.
That’s when I knew that I was on to something. I asked myself:
“Do I know what is Beautiful and True for my own life?”
No, not really. I could feel something nebulous and eager somewhere in the depths, but I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was.
“Can I look at the people I know and see what is Beautiful and True for them?”
Yes!
For a handful of people, it was so clear, shining like a halo around their lives. And inevitably, these were all people who seemed…content. Not always happy, not always getting what they wanted, but somehow they were facing life with heads held high and hearts open, with fierce joy and integrity.
It was gorgeous.
I wanted that kind of clarity and purpose and equilibrium for ME.
I have studied scriptures. I have read Zen masters. I have spent wonderful hours with witches and shamans and energy healers.
But I always felt like the life I wanted was somehow behind a glass door. I could see it, I could even smell it, but I couldn’t find my way into the room and the door was always locked.
So, when the key was dropped in my lap by a soap opera of all things…
There are tales of Buddhist masters who watch and wait for their students to be ready to move to the next level of training. When the moment is near, the student seems to get stuck in their practice. No growth, no forward motion. Just frustration and restlessness. And at the exact perfect moment, when the student is open but not expecting it, the Master sneaks up and smacks them hard on the forehead, and enlightenment rushes in.
“I wasn’t looking for an enlightenment experience when I got smacked. I was busy studying Spanish.”
There are all kinds of ways to get past your own glass door. But I am convinced that they all start with recognizing what is Beautiful & True for you.
Not for your parents. Not for your friends. Not for your work colleagues. Not for the other moms at the daycare. Not for your pastors, not for your presidents.
What is Beautiful & True for YOU.
I’ve been behind the glass door for six months now, and here is what I can tell you. It’s not always easy. I’m not always happy. There have been moments that have downright sucked. I mean, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, and everything seems upended.
But since I began looking very deliberately for the Beautiful & True, I have been basically content. My spirit has been calmer. My mental state stronger. It’s harder to throw me off balance, and easier for me to right myself when it happens. I feel less…afraid.
I feel free.
Liberated.
So, that’s what this podcast and blog are all about. An exploration of the Beautiful & True in our lives and in our world. It won’t always be easy. It won’t always be happy.
But if we can unlock that glass door for ourselves, we achieve the ultimate end.